Family

Second time blogging today. Opps, it's another day already. Alright doesn't matter. Just having some random thoughts and felt like blogging it because I can't sleep and kept thinking about it. Maybe I'm thinking too much but I guess I will feel much better writing it here? 

Family. Guess everyone definition of family is different. Yes, I do have many that I call family. But I'm gonna just write about the actual family I have. The one consisting my dad, mum and sis. I think I'm born very different from all other people. I don't get luxurious stuff, family love and stuff since young. Maybe that is one of the reason why I don't feel good or loved at home. It's somehow that I have always been living in a low income family since young. I don't blame anything because some thing just can't be force. My dad always portray the image of fierce since I was young. I remember how much I feared my dad because I can get scoldings and even beaten up by him. So somehow I can say I'm some sort closer to my mum. However, mum don't have high educational level. So a lot of things she just don't understand. Since young, nobody teaches me about my work. Nobody will force me to study and nobody will ever tell me that it's not okay to fail. But I'm fortunate that I somehow know all these and that's why I'm still on the right track till now. Just thinking that how much I envy other families where parents pick their kids up from school and that kids can tell anything from school to relationship to their parents. Or maybe at least one of them. Parents of mine will never ever understand what I'm going through. And they totally have no opinions of what I'm doing. I've totally no hatred that I'm from a low income family and I'm totally not ashamed that I'm from one. I just wanna feel more family love. 

Somehow I just wish they would care more. And maybe god, could you made me reincarnate to a loving family next life.